The Never-ending Chicken Mushroom

This was a story I orginally posted in another forum, but it ties in well enough with the natural history theme I've got going here that I thought I'd include it:


6/21/07
This past Sunday marked a momentous occasion in Princeton's natural history. Whilst chillaxin at Adriana's house it just so happened that Laura, Jeff, and I had an unstoppable urge to venture out upon the high seas. Alas all we had at our immediate disposal was a canoe and an old backyard canal. Nevertheless, hearts full of anticipation for the adventure that lay ahead, we took to the water.

Along the journey we spotted many mythic species of flora and fauna -- the gnarled roots of elder oak trees curled over the water's edge, shy turtles dove out of sight as our shadow passed over them, and blackbirds taunted us from their perches in the overhanging canopy. And then as we rounded another bend in the mighty river, Laura alerted our gazes to the most unimaginable sight: There upon a mossy rotted log along the riverbank rested a colossal coral-colored fungus! Nearly 2 feet in diameter, this beauty was truly a work of God's artistry. At closer inspection, Laura and I both had an inkling that there was more to this fungal friend than met the eye. Indeed it had the same appearance as the delectable Chicken-of-the-Woods Mushroom that we feasted upon at camp yesteryear. We removed a small stalk for identification at the house. Convinced of our find by the online descriptions we returned to the mushroom for harvesting. The grocery bag Ellen, Laura, and I used for the foraging was bursting upon return, full with at least 8 pounds of joyous fungus! Adriana's mom swooped in to test our find, frying up spiced portions of mushroom to the whole company to enjoy. As the name implies it tastes uncannily like chicken and we had more than enough to go around.

Extremely satisfied with our discovery, our imaginations ran wild with the new culinary potential of this gift from nature's kitchen. We even featured it as a main ingredient in our tacos that night! As the days wore on at the Willsie house we found new dishes to try out our foraged food: Chicken Mushroom Manicotti, Spicy Chicken Mushroom Casserole, Chicken Mushroom for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!!! Wahoo!!!!

After the second day of nothing but chicken mushroom, it dawned on me that this food probably has no nutritional value whatsoever. And after gulping down chicken mushroom leftovers for lunch for the second time this week I began to tire of its initial charm. What's more, I was not alone in my change of heart. As Ellen agreed, what was once a magnificent feast had slowly withered into a nauseating proposition. The truth was simple: we had entirely too much chicken mushroom. Between the four of us staying at the Willsie's house, we could probably had enough mushroom for a whole month, perhaps slowly poisoning our bodies in the process. So although it's appeal didn't last forever, we still had the distinct satisfaction of foraging for our dinner. Hopefully, before long, we can all return to the wilderness from whence we came and establish ourselves as the Tribe of the Bubblonians, living off the land, and frolicking in the carefree way that only monkeys are wont to do.

Cheerfully yours,
Eddie "The Mycologist" Burgess